Hop hop

You came along my secret laboratory

Spiky spiky bloody fangs hungry for my Qi

Hold up, mister

Right there, mister

Sit down, mister

How about some retort pouch of curry

Pouch of chili

Pouch of MRE

But you're rather picky

Well

I'll make you something else

Don't need to show me how

Since I'm the mad scientist, proclaimed by myself

Canton or Sichuan

Jiangsu or Hunan

No matter which one you pick I'll get it done

Zhajiangmian and Xiaolongbao

Wonton and Chashao

Delivery or takeout won't beat my retort pouch

You're loving my retort

I'm loving your retort

You're my only retort

You're my only retort

一 一 一 二 一 一 二 三 四 五 六 七

一 一 一 二 一 一 二 三 四 五 六 七

Crack crack

You stretch your arms out asking for a hug

Hidden under your talisman is your practiced smile

Come here, mister

Help me, mister

Right here, mister

You took up my spoon

Stirring curry

Stirring chili

That's when I've realized

We've became family

Then he came

A man in black and white

He's holding laser guns and Bagua signs

Then he aimed at your slimy skin

And pulled the trigger

Your head bursts

Shh

I'll stitch you back up

Don't need to show me how

Since I'm the mad scientist, proclaimed by myself

I'll give you plastic eyes

And give you nylon hair

And I'll make sure I get your talisman repaired

Shark fin soup or Dim sum

Dumpling or Peking duck

Nothing I make is gonna bring that charm inside you back

But you're still my retort

But you're still my retort

I'm seeking for retort

I'm seeking for retort